I'm Not That Girl
by XxNoGoodDeedxX
Summary: Just a short one shot in which Rukia mulls over Ichigo's relationship with Orihime. One-sided ichiruki


Just a short Ichiruki/Ichihime song-fic. I got the album to the musical Wicked on my iPod this weekend and I've had the urge to do a fic based off the song "I'm Not That Girl" if you've never heard that song, I suggest you look it up on Youtube. A small portion of the lyrics are included at the end of this fic, but it's not the same unless you hear the actual song. Anyway, this song make's me feel a little depressed... that's why this fic is a bit... well, depressing. :P Oh well, this is only my second fanfiction ever so meh. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT RUKIA WILL BE A BIT OOC BUT I HAD TO DO THAT TO MAKE IT FIT THE SONG CLOSELY.

**AUTHORS NOTE EDIT: okay, so first of all, I thought fellow fans were supposed to be accepting and at least maybe TRY to make their comments constructive instead of just insulting me. To those of you who had nice things to say, thank you very much. those of you who didn't exactly like everything about my story but worded it kindly (and actually considered that I might have feelings like a normal human being) Thanks to you too. But those of you who were calling me pathetic, telling me to leave the fandom, and writing me comments_ longer_ _than my entire story _just to insult my work... have you ever heard the saying: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?****  
**

**First: I AM AN ICHIRUKI FAN! NOT AN "ICHIHIME FAN TRYING TO GET MORE READS" AND I AM NOT "PATHETIC!" I do not even _like _Ichihime, but when you listen to the lyrics of the song it more fits Rukia's thoughts. "Golden hair with a gentle curl" that just made me think of Rukia describing Orihime. **

**Second: I HAVE INDEED WATCHED THE ANIME! from episode one to the newest english episode available, and I continue to keep up with it. I have also read the first 11 volumes of the manga.**

**Thirdly: I will no longer accept Anonymous comments! So if you want to be mean to me, and forget that you too were once a beginner writer, don't be a chicken. Actually post _with your own user name!_ **

**Fourth and Final: Some of you asked why this was under Ichiruki romance, that's because Ruki and Ichigo are the main characters, and Rukia is in love with Ichigo. So... it's a romance. Love(even unrequited love)=ROMANCE!**

**IT"S REALLY SAD WHEN I JUST STARTED WRITING ON AND ALREADY I'M BEING PRESSURED TO QUIT! **

... Kay, my rant is done, sorry about that... you can read now...

* * *

Ichigo is so happy. He smiles more. He's not as angry as he used to be. His heart has been healed of all the anguish and violence it once held.

I wish I could say that I was the one who did that for him— the one who took away his hurt and replaced it with love— But I'm not that girl. No, he has Orihime.

The one he loves is Orihime.

I sit on the top shelf of Ichigo's closet, just thinking. I'm not crying. I don't know why, but I can't even make the tears fall. Maybe it would be easier to cry if I could just make myself hate Orihime, but I can't. She has been a friend to me. More importantly, she makes him happy. How could I hate someone who makes him smile like that?

That infuriatingly wonderful smile.

I let out a sigh and slide open the closet door, about ready to jump down, when suddenly Ichigo is standing in front of me in only a towel. His hair is wet and smells like shampoo.

I feel the heat rush to my cheeks and I know I'm blushing. "I-Ichigo…" I'm about to explain why I'm in his closet without telling him first, when he cuts me off by smiling that beautiful smile.

"Hey, Rukia," He says. Just the sound of my name coming from his lips is enough to send little shivers down my spine. "I was just about to go looking for you."

"You were?" I ask, sounding a bit too excited over such a simple thing.

"Yeah… I…. well I have to ask you something." He runs a hand through his damp carroty locks.

"You do?"

He chuckles a bit at my response but then he gets serious again, and there's something else in his expression… nervousness? "Rukia, are you busy tonight?"

"N-no! Not at all actually. Why do you ask?" I rush out, my earlier blush returning. _Don't get your hopes up, don't get your hopes up… _I repeat over and over in my mind.

"Well," Ichigo went on. "There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight and…."

I can't help it, I unconsciously lean forward in anticipation. This is it! Finally he's seeing me as more than a friend!

"…I was wondering if you would be willing to keep an eye on Karin and Yuzu for me tonight when I take Orihime to see the meteors."

Oh. The rush of excitement I felt drains instantly. At last, I feel the tears I've wanted to cry start, but now I have to hold them back. I don't want to cry in front of Ichigo. I force a smile. Who knew smiling could be so painful? "Sure, of course I will." I try to sound cheerful, but my voice cracks at the end. "You two have fun." I add.

Ichigo pulls a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt from the shelf next to me. "Thanks a lot, Rukia. You're a great friend." He smiles brightly.

Friend. The word stabs my heart like a dagger of ice. "Any time."

Ichigo turns and walks from the room. He's about to close the door behind him but then he pokes his head back in, "Oh, and Rukia?"

"Yes?"

"You've seemed kind of down lately, cheer up will you? I hate to see my best friend sad." He smirks and the butterflies run rampant in my stomach again. God, why do I love him? Why can't I just love someone who loves me back?…unrequited love sucks!

I just nod and he leaves, closing the door behind him.

Now, alone in the silence, I finally let myself cry.

_**Blythe smile, lithe limb**_

_**she who's winsome,**_

_**she wins him.**_

_**Gold hair with a gentle curl,**_

_**that's the girl he chose**_

_**and heaven knows,**_

_**I'm not that girl.**_

_**Don't wish, don't start**_

_**wishing only wounds the heart,**_

_**I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl,**_

_**there's a girl I know,**_

_**he loves her so,**_

_**I'm not that girl.**_

* * *

**Well... that was depressing to write... hm... Once again, sorry about my rant at the beginning. I was just getting tired of the rude comments. :)**


End file.
